50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5”3’ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy
"Billy where is your homework?"
"im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it”
[Day Two, Tuesday 22nd] Favorite Moment - 2.05 The AftermathElle, he’s dead. You’re-You’re right here. You won.